Tag Archives: Conditioning

The World’s Most Unusual Therapist

by Dr. Joe Vitale
www.mrfire.com

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

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The Brain Can Sabotage Resolutions

Health 24

 

The New Year has just begun and already you're finding it hard to keep those resolutions to junk the junk food, get off the couch or kick smoking.

There's a biological reason a lot of our bad habits are so hard to break - they get wired into our brains.

That's not an excuse to give up. Understanding how unhealthy behaviours become ingrained has scientists learning some tricks that may help good habits replace the bad.

"Why are bad habits stronger? You're fighting against the power of an immediate reward," said Dr Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse and an authority on the brain's pleasure pathway.

It's the fudge vs broccoli choice: Chocolate's yum factor tends to beat out the knowledge that sticking with veggies brings an eventual reward of lost kilos.

 

Temptations

"We all as creatures are hard-wired that way, to give greater value to an immediate reward as opposed to something that's delayed," Volkow said.

Just how that bit of happiness turns into a habit involves a pleasure-sensing chemical named dopamine. It conditions the brain to want that reward again and again - reinforcing the connection each time - especially when it gets the right cue from your environment.

People tend to overestimate their ability to resist temptations around them, thus undermining attempts to shed bad habits, said experimental psychologist Loran Nordgren, an assistant professor at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management.

"People have this self-control hubris, this belief they can handle more than they can," said Nordgren, who studies the tug-of-war between willpower and temptation.

In one experiment, he measured whether heavy smokers could watch a film that romanticises the habit - called Coffee and Cigarettes - without taking a puff.

Upping the ante, they'd be paid according to their level of temptation: Could they hold an unlit cigarette while watching? Keep the pack on the table? Or did they need to leave the pack in another room?

Smokers who'd predicted they could resist a lot of temptation tended to hold the unlit cigarette - and were more likely to light up than those who knew better than to hang onto the pack, said Nordgren. He now is beginning to study how recovering drug addicts deal with real-world temptations.

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Living Your Values – Part 1

By Steve Pavline

stevepavlina.com

I've read many books that stress the importance of understanding your personal values, getting clear about what's most important to you in life. But at the time of this writing, I haven't yet come across a source that covers this incredibly useful concept with sufficient depth. Most of the values coverage I've read takes you through a process of eliciting your current values and then leaves it at that. But I want to take you much deeper into this rich subject and show you how to intelligently connect your values to your goals.

In Part I, I will guide you through a step-by-step process for eliciting and prioritizing your personal values. It's entirely possible you already have such a list because this is a common exercise you'll find in many personal growth books. However, I still encourage you to read through this process because you will deepen your understanding.

My second goal is to explain the process of living with integrity to your values, so you learn how to consciously use your values to make decisions and take action. There's no point in discovering your values and then filing them away and forgetting about them. This will be covered in Part II.

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TRUST IN RELATIONSHIPS

Kim Olver
www.kimolver.com

We have been taught to believe trust is a commodity to be earned by others. Once they have passed certain tests, then we feel safe to extend our trust. I would like to entertain the idea that trust can be a verb, rather than a noun. It's a choice you make and says much more about you than it does the person to whom you are extending that trust.

When you are involved in a relationship and you say you trust that person, it is more than a noun. It's not just a thing you extend to a person like a gift--it is followed up with behaviors--things you do and things you don't do.

When you trust someone, you know he or she will do the right thing. You know they have their affairs (no pun intended) under control. They are faithful and loyal. You don't need constant reassurance of this--you just know.

What you don't do is constantly grill a person about where he or she is and with whom he or she is spending time. You don't have him or her followed looking for proof of infidelity. You don't snoop around in his or her personal belongings or private places. You trust that he or she can be trusted.

Trusting has so much more to do with who you are as a person than it does with who your partner is. When you are secure in yourself and know that you are worthy to receive love, then it is natural to trust.

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Ignorance, Conditioning and Commitment

By John Smith

Most people have at some point expressed the desire for some form of change in one or more areas in their lives. However, making the commitment to do what is necessary to effect the desired change is something few are willing to do. Most would like their circumstances and situations to change, but few are willing to take full responsibility for their lives and make the necessary changes within themselves. In your personal experience, how many people do you know that you can truly say have taken full responsibility for their lives, including their mistakes and failures, as opposed to blaming others and playing the victim? Why is it that so many people would rather continue being miserable in some area of their lives, rather than take responsibility and do what is necessary to bring about change?

This article is devoted to those who are not only desirous of change, but are also willing to take responsibility and commit themselves to the mechanics of the process of change. I want to share some information that has helped me greatly on my personal journey towards change.

Let us look at three issues that play an important role in the process of change.

  • Our number one enemy is ignorance.
  • Our number one obstacle is our conditioning.
  • Our number one challenge is commitment.

Let us consider the first point - our number one Enemy - Ignorance.

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