TRUST IN RELATIONSHIPS
Kim Olver
www.kimolver.com
We have been taught to believe trust is a commodity to be earned by others. Once they have passed certain tests, then we feel safe to extend our trust. I would like to entertain the idea that trust can be a verb, rather than a noun. It’s a choice you make and says much more about you than it does the person to whom you are extending that trust.
When you are involved in a relationship and you say you trust that person, it is more than a noun. It’s not just a thing you extend to a person like a gift–it is followed up with behaviors–things you do and things you don’t do.
When you trust someone, you know he or she will do the right thing. You know they have their affairs (no pun intended) under control. They are faithful and loyal. You don’t need constant reassurance of this–you just know.
What you don’t do is constantly grill a person about where he or she is and with whom he or she is spending time. You don’t have him or her followed looking for proof of infidelity. You don’t snoop around in his or her personal belongings or private places. You trust that he or she can be trusted.
Trusting has so much more to do with who you are as a person than it does with who your partner is. When you are secure in yourself and know that you are worthy to receive love, then it is natural to trust.
Ignorance, Conditioning and Commitment
By John Smith
Most people have at some point expressed the desire for some form of change in one or more areas in their lives. However, making the commitment to do what is necessary to effect the desired change is something few are willing to do. Most would like their circumstances and situations to change, but few are willing to take full responsibility for their lives and make the necessary changes within themselves. In your personal experience, how many people do you know that you can truly say have taken full responsibility for their lives, including their mistakes and failures, as opposed to blaming others and playing the victim? Why is it that so many people would rather continue being miserable in some area of their lives, rather than take responsibility and do what is necessary to bring about change?
This article is devoted to those who are not only desirous of change, but are also willing to take responsibility and commit themselves to the mechanics of the process of change. I want to share some information that has helped me greatly on my personal journey towards change.
Let us look at three issues that play an important role in the process of change.
- Our number one enemy is ignorance.
- Our number one obstacle is our conditioning.
- Our number one challenge is commitment.
Let us consider the first point – our number one Enemy – Ignorance.
